Dear Mousse,

I just want you to know that I'm going to be all right.  You know I was hurting inside deeply for you seeing you just lay there unable to get to your feet.  When you turned down the turkey meat, I knew it was time and that you'd given up and were ready.  Suddenly nothing else seemed more important than sitting next to you on the pine needles talking about our life together.  You were so much more than just a dog, Mousse.  You were the "only child" I thought I'd ever have.  I told you the story one last time of the breeder calling that there was one chocolate male puppy in the litter and how when I saw you for the first time, I knew that you were my baby.  I can remember how when I use to ask, "Do you know that? Do you know how special you are?" you would take your paw and swipe it over your eyes and almost smile.  Then you would close your eyes as if you understood my every word, but this time you only managed to wag your tail ever so weakly.  I softly sang the all too familiar songs I've made up for you and sung to you over and over again all these years while your head rested in my hands.  I told you it was ok, you didn't have to fight anymore to stay alive.  You need not worry about protecting me, I'll be fine.  I've got Thor, tho I wish you could have hung around longer and taught him more.  He lacks your wisdom and we don't have that eye communication down yet but he did spend a year with you which he'll carry with him and get wiser from.  Little did I know you'd leave us 5 days after Thor's 1st birthday.  The way you danced across the floor for cookies made me think you were getting better.  I'm so glad you enjoyed your last party.  If I had only known, I'd have made an extra dozen just for you.

So I end this with my love for you that will never die.  You were so much more than a dog, you were my friend.  We went through some hard times together and you were always there to listen to me and not be judgemental. You would sit with me as long as I needed to hold you tightly and seemed to always know what I was feeling.  I could make your tail wag just with my facial expression. I still in my mind see you in the house, laying by the front door or in the backroom, but you're not there.  I want to hear your tail thumping against the carpet, but I don't. I still look to make sure I don't step on you in the night and then realize, I won't.  I look for you to come walking into the kitchen when I'm fixing some food, but you don't.  Thor still runs to your food bowl to find it's not there and Kiara is still looking for you in the yard but of course, you're not there either.  You are forever in my heart and your memories are very much alive in me.  I smile that we walked together almost 11 yrs.   You were one of a kind Mousse,  what we had was unique and I'm a better person having had you in my life.

Love you forever!

Your mommy, your buddy